The Dagda Interview Pt 2

[I will make a small post each day this week in honor of the release of my book.]

So, we go to have some ‘Mt. Dew’ and get a quick bite of lunch. So I thought. We stood before the counter, and I realized people were staring. I was even staring. Aodh still wasn’t wearing pants. We got to the counter, and as I deliberated between a Mexican pizza and a taco, Aodh was already ordering.

Dagda: Yeh, hi mate. I’ll have left side of the menu once over, and the center times two, and three large Mountained Dews.

Me: Mountain Dew, Aodh.

Dagda: That’s wot I said innit?

Me: Not really..

Dagda: Well, the bloke understood well enough.

The kid looks at us both, and delivers this gem: “No shirt no shoes no service, Dude."

Dagda: I'm wearing both a shirt and shoes, mate.

Kid: "Oh, ok. Hot or mild sauce, Dude?”

Dagda: Both, dewd.

Tray after tray piles onto the countertop, and Aodh gives me a look. He bends down to whisper in my ear, and the girls behind us are staring at his bare backside mooning them.

Dagda: Wot's a dewd?

Me: You are a dude. it's like 'bloke.'

Dagda: Well, if it's like bloke, why can't he just say it?

Me: Maybe he's expanding his limited vocabulary?

Dagda: Yer not eating?

Me: I think I’ll just snatch something off yours.

Dagda: Piss off, get yer own.

Me: ~sighs~

So we’re sitting at a table with the table next to us covered in trays of food. Aodh is downing Mexican food at an alarming rate. Beans and rice, people. And he’s still not wearing any pants.

Me: Do you eat like this all the time?

Dagda: mfbsrjwclknwseih

Me: Right

After finishing off his trays, my nachos, and I think he stole the burrito from the guy next to us we finally leave. I take care not to stand downdraft.


[This is purely for fun and entertainment. Role of Dagda played by my best friend who is one cheeky DEWD]